2 Smashed 2 Wasted

November 7, 2009

Bloggista was cradling a bottle of half-empty Jagermeister like it was Jennifer’s Body.  The Doc was redder than a red hot chili pepper.  Novz eyes have turned to slits.

DISCLOSURE:  THIS POST IS SPONSORED BY JAGERMEISTER

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Raising Hell In The City Of Angels

September 13, 2009

Note: This is an incredibly long post. Beware.

I was into my nth bottle of beer at Spencers in Angeles City watching the good doctor screaming at the TV and grasping the microphone with both hands as if it were a slippery eel when symptoms of internet withdrawal hit me real bad.  I grabbed a bottle of mineral water and went outside the bar to get some air.  In fairness to Doc Z, he wasn’t really screaming (at least for the most part), he was nailing a Hinder song as if it was composed especially for him.  I shook my head at the injustice of it all.  Here you have a guy who makes a living looking at girls huhus, who’s devilishly handsome, has a rockstars voice, and on top of that, he even has Lyle(biro lang)!  It was slowly turning into a pity party for me and the sun hasn’t even come out yet.  But that’s not how this story should start.  Heck that’s not even how my day started….

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Learning Ilocano with a twist!

September 3, 2009

Over a year ago, I went to Ilocos Sur and Ilocos Norte to learn, to study and to absorb their culture, heritage and some scientific-historical backgrounds. Two of my officemates and I were tasked to help in an event that our company has sponsored. Aside from that, we had the privilege of a lifetime to enjoy a four-day vacation in the Ilocos region and have a site-seeing spree. Oh yes, by the way… the Ilocos Tour was for FREE!

And so, apart from what I have learned above during my time in the Ilocos region, I also learned their language (Ilocano), and brought home some intellectual Ilocano words. Perhaps these words are the porniest words I had ever encountered. You can’t blame me, I live in Manila. Hehehe… So, are you curious enough to know what I’ve learned? The following are the Ilocano words that I have encountered during my stay in Ilocos:

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Alexa Loves The Influenza Bloggers

August 30, 2009

I really don’t have any idea who Alexa is, but I think she’s in love with us guys. Can you imagine, our Alexa rank is now 5,329,298! Wow! That’s really great.

I got it from a very reliable source (unnamed of course to protect her identity) that having that rank means the influenza bloggers blog is now receiving 5 million visitors daily! Wow, can you imagine that? That’s just awesome!

I investigated further and noted that the average time that each visitor spends on this site is 11 minutes. So you multiply that by 5M, that’s like, the end of the world! OMG!

And you know how important Alexa is, right? Right?

I’m not really sure myself but it must be important, otherwise we won’t be talking about it.
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Anyway, last night, four influenza bloggers decided to wet their horns and had a really long discussion about politics, religion, sex, and of course quantum physics. There was even a heated debate on whether Loop Quantum Gravity better unites quantum mechanics with general relativity than the String Theory. Of course I just made that up.

Doc Z was spewing poetry all the time while Bloggista was doing his darnedest to convince the Doc to insert keywords in his poetry for SEO purposes. The Ceblogger was thoughtful (as is usually the case), perhaps pondering on the theological ramifications of Doc Z’s poetry and how he can perhaps leverage on those honeyed words to alleviate the spiritual suffering of every person in the universe. Of course I was only thinking about sex.

Do you know how addicted you are to search engine optimization? Everytime you speak, you stuff your sentences with a lot of keywords. lol.

Bloggista also displayed his SEO skills last night. I should know because everytime Bloggista speaks, the people sitting in other tables around us would suddenly be quiet and strain their necks towards our direction. That my dear pornographic friends is called traffic generation. Which is further proof that si Bloggista ay hindi lang pampamilya, pang-isports pa.

Of course the night had to end. And after consuming almost a truckload of beer we had to stand up, which prompted the people around us to issue a collective “AWWWW”. I even saw one of the waitresses in the corner sobbing as if her heart would break. It was the same waitress who was trying to get Doc Z’s autograph for hours.

And that was the honest-to-goodness account of what happened last night.